So You Think I'm A Hero
by wicked28
Summary: Kate returns from fighting and has confronted Kat. Now she must face her own mistakes. Oneshot song fic.


A/N: Kate's feelings after returning home from Iraq.

_He said 'son, have you seen the world?_

_Well what would you say, _

_If I said that you could?_

_Just carry this gun, _

_You'll even get paid.'_

_I said, 'that sounds pretty good'_

After the confrontation with Kat and a few more beers, Kate was sitting on the back deck of Tommy's Reefside home. The woods were calming to her since she had spent a year and a half around sand.

Her friends said they were proud, Kate scoffed. They wouldn't be if they knew what had happened over there.

_Black leather boots_

_Spit-shined so bright_

_They cut off my hair but it looked_

_Alright_

_We marched and we sang_

_We all became friends_

_As we learned how to fight_

She heard the door open behind her and sighed. It could only be two people Tommy or Jason. She glanced up and found out it was the latter. "Why are you sitting out here by yourself?"

"I can't take anymore of people telling me how proud they are of me. I don't deserve it."

"Sweetheart of course you do."

"NO!" Kate pushed to her feet stumbling a little. "You don't know what happened over there. You can't understand what I did Jason."

"So explain it to me," he felt so helpless. He knew that Kate's happiness was a particle front. That whatever happened overseas would have some kind of lasting effect on her.

Kate began talking slowly at first.

_A hero of war_

_Yeah that's what I'll be_

_And when I come home_

_They'll be damn proud of me_

_I'll carry this flag _

_To the grave if I must _

_Cause it's the flag that I love_

_And the flag that I trust_

"I'm not a hero Jase, some of the things we did over there…not me specifically but we weren't exactly nice to them. Of course they weren't nice to us with there car bombs and shit either," Kate had tears in her eyes. "I just sat there while they did horrible things. I should have stopped them."

"I'm sure you did what you could, you can't go against your whole platoon," he rubbed her back soothingly.

"It was still wrong."

_I kicked in the door_

_I yelled my commands_

_The children, they cried_

_But I got my man_

_We took him away_

_A bag over his face_

_From his family and his friends_

"Oh God Kate, I'm so sorry."

"That's not the worse part, I asked them to stop but they wanted me to join in and I refused. When I came home, a few months ago before I got shot, it was because I got suspended for not following an order," tears slipped down her cheeks. The gang had all formed a supportive circle behind her, but she didn't notice.

"It's ok, we all still love you Kate. Nothing you did can change that."

_They took off his clothes_

_They pissed in his hands_

_I told them to stop_

_They said to join in_

_He was beaten with guns_

_And batons not just once _

_But again and again_

"No human deserves that. Just because they do things or we do things, war turns good people bad. My friends beat that man, he didn't even fight us when we took him away."

No one knew what to say, there was nothing to say. Kate had to get this out and deal with it before it grew into a greater guilt and over took her life.

_A hero of war _

_Yeah that's what I'll be_

_And when I come home_

_They'll be damn proud of me_

_I'll carry this flag_

_To the grave if I must_

_Cause it's the flag that I love_

_And the flag that I trust_

"It got worse. I did something really bad. Something that I have to live with for the rest of my life."

"What happened sis?" Rocky sat on her other side.

"You can tell us bestie, no matter how bad," Tommy kneeled in front of her.

Kate fought back tears and took a deep breath.

_She walked through bullets and haze_

_I asked her to stop_

_I begged her to stay_

_But she pressed on _

_So I lifted my gun _

_And I fired away_

The friends closed there eyes knowing what the rest of Kate's story may be. The hurt and pain in her voice shaking them all. Some were fighting tears of there own as Kate's voice told the rest of what had happened.

_And the shells jumped through the _

_Smoke_

_And into the sand_

_The blood had now soaked_

_She collapsed with a flag in her hand _

_A flag white as snow_

"I killed her. I pulled the trigger that ended her life. Why? All because she wouldn't stop walking and was getting closer to our base."

"You didn't know what she was doing, this isn't your fault," Kim whispered.

"Yes it is. I'm no hero. I'm a killer."

_A hero of war _

_Is that what they see _

_Just medals and scars_

_So damn proud of me_

_And I brought home that flag_

_Now it gathers dust_

_But it's the flag that I love_

_It's the only flag I trust_

"I guess it's pretty damn fitting that after I shot her, I got shot in the leg and it ended my military career. I took her life and karma took the one thing I wanted to do with my life." She paused. "Though if karma wanted to be fair, it would have killed me too."

She struggled to stand, the emotions and alcohol taking its toll.

Jason lifted her in his arms and carried her to bed.

"I can't believe it. I can't believe that Kate could shoot someone innocent on purpose," Tommy sat shocked.

"You know as well as we do that it wasn't done on purpose. Kate's going to feel that it's her fault just because she pulled the trigger," Kim said.

"So we be here for her as much as we can and help her get through this," Rocky sat down as well.

"She'll be ok, in time," Tommy looked back and saw Jason standing in the doorway with a small smile.

_He said, 'son, have you seen the world?_

_Well what would you say, _

_If I said that you could?'_

A/N: the song is Hero of War by Rise Against. I changed one of the lines to fit Kate better. I'm not looking to say anything bad about the military or anyone else. This isn't meant to offend anyone and if it does I'm sorry.


End file.
